Dr. Not Scary Dentist.

So, I went to the dentist and got a HUGE cavity filled.
I really do not like going, in fact, I loathe going.
I am scared of the dentist; it IS a real fear, wikki says so!

It is called dental phobia, dentophobia,
dentist phobia, or dental anxiety.

But Dr. Not Scary Dentist gives me VALIUM
so that I can, ya know, walk into the office, cuz otherwise I will not, could not, walk into the office, or even walk by the office.
Because everybody knows that Dentists are really really bad people who love to inflict pain and then charge you for it.
everybody. knows.
Like that Dentist in The Little Shop of Horrors.


But Dr. Not Scary Dentist is not like that:
He is not mean to me. AND he knows about people being scared and all that. AND he loves Jesus, the REAL Jesus, not the Republican Jesus, and he tells me what he is going to do before he does it.
AND he always asks me “How ya doin’ lil’ Sis?”

AND I know I have more teeth to fill, so I said, “Let’s just do it.” Because I am too high to care or make any decisions other than whether
I am having rice pudding or
Campbell’s Bean and Bacon soup
for lunch.
But THEN while the
Novocaine was starting to work,
Dr. Not Scary Dentist walked out and
told The Head,
who had to drive me cuz DO NOT TAKE Diazepam AND DRIVE TO THE DENTIST, or anywhere else for that matter.

Anyway, Dr. Not Scary Dentist said to the Head that, “It is more important that little Sis learns to trust me and the dental process than she needs to get her other tooth filled today.”

So he does not take advantage of a stoned person in the seat of doom.

When I got home I laid down in bed for a little bit. That was nice. But then, THEN, I got a migraine. I think the tooth triggered it.
I took my migraine meds, fell asleep
at 2 and woke up at 6:15.
So if you go to the dentist, even the really nice ones who give you Valium and do NOT sing scary songs and DO let you listen to old-time gospel and then sing out loud
with you humming the tunes when
Johnny Cash or Elvis comes on
(cuz who does not LOVE Johnny Cash and Elvis, who are the best Gospel singers, EVAH),
BECAUSE even when they give you a nice shiny pink tooth-brush cuz you were so good,

it will still fuck up your day.


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