what i want for my son.

Once, when the Buddha was not quite two, I went to a “mother/toddler play group.” while our children played or nursed we had “mommy talk” that means mostly we bashed parents who did it different from “us”

The topic went to what do we want for our children when they grow up. Every one started with.

“Well. I just want my baby to be happy”.



Then they would go on and wish for their child’s success in school, and would go to the right preschool. Perfect k-12 get all A’s.. and be popular would do well in sports..stay in church, bla bla bla.
Ya know. All the things that would make one “Happy”

It was my turn.

I take a deep breath.

I do not want my son to be “happy”

I want my son to be kind.

I want my son to be an ally for

The different The other,

The unloved

And even the unlovable.

I want my son to help people. I want my son to say “yes”, when some one asks him for spare change.

If when he is older and he is at a party

and there is a girl, for what ever reason, can not say “NO!”.

Then I want my boy to say it for her,

Then get her to a safe place.

 I want him to be brave. Like Batman.

Cuz Batman is Awesome.

Everyone knows that!

I want my son to see the divine.

In every person he sees.

Even the bad guys.

Even the bullies.

Even the Republicans

Even, everyone.

I want my son to serve a higher purpose then having good grades, going to some Ivy League university, working a “important job”and making lots of money.

I want him to measure his life with love.

And random acts of kindness.

I want him to find joy and contentment and fulfilment in these things.

I want my Son to know that his words matter.

Sticks and stones do break bones.

Words, can and do break spirits too.

I want him to use his words edify others, not belittle them or make them feel less than.

I want my son to be a hero to the bullied child.

Not just be a bystander.

But some one who steps up to the plate and says “STOP” or “ HEY! BACK THE HELL OFF!”

I want my son to know that although words matter, Actions matter more.

I want him to go sit next to the child who eats alone.
Break bread with him. Be their friend.

Because, like all of us, He is the hands of the Divine and that child could be an angel in disguise.

I want him to fall in love. truly and madly and deeply and fully in love. I want him to love many times and even have a broken heart, or two or three because, ya know why?

There are things that can only be learned when ones heart is broken Your heart gets stronger with love and pain.

It is true, ya know,

What they say?

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger”

I want him to choose to feel; all the feelings, the good ones, the easy ones and hard ones and the scary ones

This is how we grow and gain wisdom.

I want him to have meaning,

To be authentic.

and truthful.

And forgiving.

I want my son to know that he is a Spiritual being, made of star-dust.
That inside of him is the whole of the cosmos.

That his soul has the dancing magic to reach up into the heavens, grab a star and bring it down,

Hold it in his hands

like a beating heart.

Till it evaporates into the holy spirit that is peace and star-dust and love and eternity.

What I want

of and for him.

is more than happiness,

I want wholeness.

I want him to be joyful and content,

I want the holiness that he was born with to show him that the world is a good and beautiful place.

The mothers were silent.

I did not go back.


3 thoughts on “what i want for my son.

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