forgiveness and Grace.


So the previous post as had me thinking and praying.

Forgiveness is a peculiar thing, don’t ya think?

There is many stories of forgiveness in the bible. My favourite is:

Matthew 18:21-22

The Message (MSG) A Story About Forgiveness

21 At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”

22 Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven!”

Here are a few more quotes:

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.
Indira Gandhi

How does one know if she has forgiven? You tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. You tend to have nothing left to say about it all”.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.
Corrie Ten Boom

The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive.
Marianne Williamson

Forgiveness is about empowering yourself, rather than empowering your past.
T. D. Jakes

I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself.
T. D. Jakes

Forgiveness really is so misunderstood, as well as the power it can release in an individual. Forgiveness isn’t about condoning what has happened to you or someone else’s actions against you.
Jennifer O’Neill

ya know what I find interesting about these quotes?

Is that the prevailing theme  is not about how forgiveness is about your for lack of a better term, perpetrator or maybe aggressor, it is about how forgiveness is about us. me.

Forgiveness is for ME, the fact that Jesus forgave and died on the cross not with standing, forgiveness is really selfish act.

We forgive because keeping all the pain and anger and sadness and fear and all the shit that is the unforgiving soul. It is to realize all of that. I think that T. D. Jakes quote really hit the mark. “I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself.

I found this on another blog:

The blog is:

http://psdifabio.tumblr.com/

Nothing can be more debilitating than a grudge. While it may feel that clutching such rancour and rage is productive in the cause of moral justice, nothing could be further from the truth. Such immovable animosity does more to poison the soul of its possessor than the target of its fury.

We must find the freedom in forgiveness.

To forgive does not condone or absolve the offence, but it illuminates a way forward in living. When faced with transgression if we hold on to resentment we remain lost in an unchangeable past, searching for salvation where only frustration and darkness resides. Only in forgiveness can we find the light of peace.

Progress only comes by moving forward, and even in the face of the greatest of offences we must find a way towards forgiveness. It may be our only salvation.

 

I think that this is great. What a wonderful way to live.

So here is the point of my post tonight:

I am going to forgive the people who defamed me. Holding the grudge and fear and anger will only hurt me. It will not hurt them.

But it is important for us to remember that forgiveness is an ACTION. Not a feeling. So I will be reminding my self that all is forgiven. However, I will NOT make the effort to go and tell them I have forgiven them. I think that to just walk up and say, HAY! I have forgiven you! Is a bit arrogant and presumptuous. Maybe they do not think what they did was wrong…not my problem. It is none of my business what they think about me.

I am forgiving them for me. I am choosing LIFE I am choosing health. I am choosing to be free of the anger and fear.

Does that mean that we will someday be BFF’s again? Will we hang out and go have coffee? Gossip and chit-chat? Oh Hell no

The friendship is over. I have had more than my share of toxic people in my life. They are forgiven yes, but that does not mean that I have to keep them in my life. I will be polite. But that is it.

Life is too short, Lord have mercy, life is so so short. I believe that we can and should forgive our aggressors. But we do not need to give them more opportunity to hurt us, that my friends is crazy.

I am working to hard to be healthy, to model to my children that we can and should be in RIGHT RELATIONSHIP with people. And my dear friends, means we do not need to be in an unhealthy relationship with others. Period

A Prayer:

Holy One

Divine one of many names

and no names;

Thank you for dying on the cross for me

Thank you for forgiving me.

Thank you for your Grace.

I pray Lord for the strength to forgive them.

I pray that I remember every day when thoughts come up. Or if I hear that they have said other things; that I have forgiven them.

Thank you for the gift of forgiveness. The gift that is healing, freedom from fear and anger and hate and sadness.

I hope someday for the chance to tell them that I have forgiven them. I leave that to your holy hands.

In the mean time

I ask for your grace.

I ask for your protection

for my family and for me.

And Lord, for them as well.

You are bigger than mean gossip.

And Lord. While I have you, I ask forgiveness for gossiping, for my arrogance.

Thank you very much.

Amen, Ashe’ and May it be so.

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