I dare you to watch this. Then watch it with your children, The link is at the end of this post. The exclusionary behaviour going on in our schools must stop now. We can stop this.
We can teach our children to be compassionate people. We can teach our children to lead their hearts and minds and not let their hearts and minds lead them. It is said that we are our child’s first teacher. We MUST teach them empathy and to be KIND. That people matter, even the ones we do not like or are weird or what ever. Watch this video Then, talk about it. With your child or Teen. To other parents
If by chance you do not want your child to watch it because you think your child is not involved. Then show it any way so that they can gain the courage to stand up and speak the truth when they see bullying or exclusion of other children.
I was excluded and bullied all though school, starting in grade one straight though high school. No one did anything to help me. Not my parents. Not my teachers, not the principle. Not the school bus driver who let it happen. Every fucking day. EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Well, that is not completely true, They told me to ignore them and they will stop. BULLSHIT! It does not work that way.
So because of my experience. I will speak the truth. I will speak for the child or teen who is being excluded. I have found my voice. And I will use it. I no longer need to be “liked or excepted” I have my tribe. They love me and I love them so much that sometimes I weep with joy at what the Divine has brought to me. Really. In high school it was a little easier. I found my “place” a couple, really. The drama geeks and the Christians. oh! and the gay boys. the LGBTQ kids welcomed me. They loved me. and i them. Still do !
However, I am still working hard to heal my self from it. I am telling you, from first hand knowledge. that when you hear over and over again that you are “nothing”, “stupid,” “worthless,” “fat” “ugly” “lame”, “spoiled” or “crazy” “gay” (It does not matter if your child is LGBTQ the very perception can make them a target.) you start to believe it. And I did.it is almost worse to be ignored and excluded, because then you are not even worth being treated badly. Invisible is a painful way to be.
I should share that more then one person from those years have made amends to me and I have forgiven them. One of them, though we have little in common, I consider a close friend.
But the teen does not really have the capacity to forgive yet. It is something that we learn. If you think that just inviting them to join the group, if making your kids be nice, planning play dates will make it better, that the child who has been treated so badly can just “let it go” Then you have a good deal to learn about the young human.
If after hearing from another PARENT that your child may be participating, even if it is peripheral in the execution or the bulling. Then you ask your child about it, and they deny it, (cuz really what young person WANTS to get busted?) If you think that just because your child says that they did not do anything, or that they tried to get so and so in to the group “Really mom! We tried! But he/she wont come! And they wont talk to us!” Then I really invite you to consider that your child, your TEEN may not be entirely honest with you. Because I do not know many grown ups who would out right lie to get another kid in trouble. Ya know?
If it is your child who is participating in the bullying, they will be damaged from it also. They will take that behaviour and bully people at work. They will bully their spouses, their own children. Maybe even YOU as you get older and need their help….You may think that it is just a part of growing up, IT IS NOT. That is complete bullshit. you might think that it is better that you not get involved with your kids social issues. more bullshit. Our Offspring need to know that we fucking care. and when they are acting like shits ( as teens will do, it is their job, but it is also our job to PARENT THEM. Even when they are teens, especially when they are teens.
So please, please, watch this. share it with your child. When it comes to bulling, it could be and has been, a matter of life or death. Bullied children kill them selves. We know this. I could name many names but I wont. There are too many to name them all. Bullied children take guns to school and kill their aggressors. Again I could name names, but I wont. Too many. One is too many. We can make a difference. If we change the world for one child.
Then we are winning.
So, i will say it again: I dare you to watch this.
I dare you to talk with (not just to!) your child.
I dare you to dare them to stand up and say something if they see bulling or exclusionary behaviour. And if the first grown up does not Listen. Then keep talking till someone does.
I double dare you.
Here is the link: