How i loath being mentally unhealthy.
i hate that i am so sensitive.
I really really REALLY hate having severe clinical depression.
I really hate that my need for people to love me and except me
puts me in unhealthy places.
And I hate that I am not smart enough to see the shit or smell it before it gets to me.
I guess I have gotten used to the sight and smell for such a long time that I do not recognize it when it hits me in the face.
i wish i could let peoples rudeness
roll off me like water off a ducks ass.
I wish that I could not let people get to me.
Especially people who are friends.
But that is not me.
i do take things personally.
I feel things very deeply.
having said all this;
i do get to pick and chose who i hang out with.
I do get to pick who I give to.
i get to say “no thank you” when your shit mixes into my shit
and makes the pile of shit so big we can not see each other.
And the good news about all this;
is that if I feel threatened (how ever that manifests itself to me)
or taken advantage of
or you are rude to me.
Even if you do not mean to be rude,
if after I point it out to you that you have mixed some of your shit into my shit
and you chose not to own your own pile of shit and take your shit back,
that got all mixed in my pile and trust me my pile is big enough,
I need no more shit. At all.
I have more then enough, and my shit stinks, well, like SHIT.
The other good news is at least I am getting help.
I go to talk therapy, take my meds and pick people
who though may have some of the cray,
at least we keep our own shit in our own space.
And if we do end up with each others shit;
We say, “hay you may have your shit back”
or, because if we share our shit, at least we are sharing the shit.
Not take take taking or give give giving
Meaning give and take.
Who do you share your shit with?
What do you do when you have been given to much shit?
How do you share or not share your shit?
How do you let go of the shit that maybe you TAKE from someone, either because you like to save people or you can’t say “no thanks, I have enough”