an open letter to Daniel Baldwin.

HI Daniel

I have been touched by your story.

I have been really impressed by your courage.

Keep talking.

Keep sharing your story.

I know that people will bust your balls for doing it

Some of them will be your brothers and sisters in the program

Tell them to kiss your ass!

And talk LOUDER!

Talk more!

Maybe even start a blog………?

It is the secrets and the silence that is so dangerous.

That is what ruins childhoods

and marriages

and lives.

People need to hear it.

Men need to hear it, so many men will get the courage to leave or get help because of you.

But more than that. Your children, your children will know that you protected them. Over the years one of the many things that i have found in common with other adult children of alcoholic is the feeling of not being protected by the sober parent.

It did not seem to matter if the sober parent was in recovery or not.

If they did not keep an abusive alcoholic away from us?

We remembered that!

You see, my mother did not protect my sister and i.

I believe she did the best she could.

I do!

However, i can remember times when she sat on the couch while my father would yell and scream horrible things to us.

At times she would participate in it.

Hell, a good amount of the time she was crazier then him!

Yes, It is very hard to take away children from their mother, even temporally. But i promise you that your girls will thank you. hell, the first morning they wake up from a full, safe, nightmare free night, with smiles on their faces? (maybe even in their own beds) although, i must say, that co-sleeping is not a bad idea right now, but that is another blog post.

you will KNOW you have done the right thing. 

And if losing her babies gets their mom clean and sober? bonus!

Oh yeah, if you have not yet, get thee to an Al-Anon meeting.

And get an Al-Anon sponsor!

Yes, we can be a whiny bunch, and yes, we can be a glum lot. But we have all been there and done that. Sometimes over and over again! I have been working a 12 step program for 34 years now. I know what the hell i am talking about.

The PDX has great Al-Anon meetings.

Chock full of double winners!

By the way, daddy never found recovery.

We forgave each other a long time ago.

The program helped that happen.

Mom has not found recovery either, but when daddy died she seemed to feel free, i think.

I have also forgiven her.

Well, to be honest, that might have something to do with the fact i left her in Southern California, but what ever works, eh?
thanks for being brave and real and keeping your babies safe.

you are a really good daddy.


Blue Berry.


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