what is G*d anyway?

When I was 15 or 16 I heard something in an ala-teen meeting that never left me.

We were talking about g*d.

Many in the room, did not like him very much, I suspect that they felt like they had been screwed by him, and really, who could blame them for feeling that way?

We were all there cuz our parents were drunks, and if I remember right, most of us still lived with active alcoholics.

Anyway, one of the sponsors who had been in the program for years and years told a story:

there once was a man who was an alcoholic who did not believe in g*d.

He struggled with the 2nd step:

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

He just could not find g*d. He tried.

One day he was looking though a National Geographic magazine and saw a photo of a rain tree, ya know, the big tree with a wide canopy and trunk?

He knew then he had found his higher power!

The tree was bigger than him

The tree was older than him

The tree was stronger than him

The tree would live longer than him

It could even protect him from the elements….

He ripped out the photo and put it on his wall.

He found it.

His higher power.

And it remained his HP the rest of his days.

The tree, It kept him sober!

So who am I to say that tree, isn’t in some way, g*d?

Over the years, it has been easier for me to be open to what the divine may or may not look like to whom ever.

Though, I think that I have always felt that way, even when I was a fundamentalist evangelical Christian.

I am not saying that g*d isn’t, ya know, G*D.

He or She is.

I just think that the universe is so big. And G*d must be bigger, right?

So how can I, in my puny huWoman brain put G*d in a box or even in a book for that matter?

It just seems to me, that G*d is big enough to show him/her self to People in more than just one way, or even elvendy million ways.


I do know this:

I have no idea really about G*d.

I do not know why bad things happen

Or why

Even after praying and holding vigil or

Fasting or what ever,

Children die


Young mothers get cancer.


Dads die in plane crashes.


Earthquakes and tsunamis happen


Why levees break.

Or why

beautiful 18-year-old boys die from

Beatings and drug over doses

And the authorities just

Write him off

ike he was worthless.

Or why:

children to bed hungry

Even right here in the PNW.

If I knew that; then maybe I would be g*d.

Oh yeah ya know what I think?

I think when that man died.

He went to that tree.

And the tree is happy.


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