yup, i am begging!


hey there! please allow me to invite you to
the class of 2015 8th grade tip go fund me page:
http://www.gofundme.com/fndps4
we are raising money to send the class rock climbing with Outward Bound.
We need the help, most of the families in the class are just getting by, the 8th grade trip is an important right of passage for them and to be honest, the cost is prohibitive to most of us.
as a class we are doing many MANY things to raise the money, this is just one part.
I thank you in advance for your support. really thanks! every little bit counts.

OH! and please, would you share the Page with everyone you know? yup, spam the shit out of them!

enchantment stew.


we start with the tears of a tantra-ming merchant marine,
dragon scales , spider eyes, tongue of sassy teen;
i like to add some re-fried beans.
elephant boogers, yes they are big!
left over pizza, the toe of a pig.

earwax from monkeys, snot from a bird.
i know that this sounds really absurd!
but we need some spinach, please eat your greens!
peas and carrots, old dusty jeans.

i add horn of jackalope, yes they are real!
i like to toss in an orange, leave on the peel.
armadillo guts, the little and the big, is what we need next,
hay wait! here is someones ap-pen-dex!

my brothers smelly socks from home,
oh! and i forgot this, some coffee from rome.
now we need blood from a lizard, barf from a bee,
cheese from my moms fridge, and a jabberwalky knee.
fur of bat, tail of possum,
some garlic, some salt. pepper to taste.

bacon! thats right! makes everything great!
the snout of a goat, lice fingertips
(i would add thumb) cuz lice and nits are supper supper dumb
i like them with ranch. but some like goose plum
it tastes just like chicken if you add the right dip

for sweetness, chocolate chips
the sweet smell of baby head.
fresh clean sheets on my bed

kitty cat mews and puppy dog
bark. the sounds of a child’s
laughter in a park.

twinkies, donuts and candied apples,
orieos work too!
organic agave for those who whooo!

finely, mermaid hair for color.
marigolds work also.
try some beak of a duck
(that brings good luck!)
and maybe some ginger, really, anything thats gold.
now let the magic unfold.

in which i admit the truth


Sleeping Palestinian children

are being bombed whilst seeking refuge

in schools.

Texas is sending

the

National Guard to the boarder to

protect us from

fleeing refuge children.

Children are being brutally

killed, BEHEADED! in Iraq

Because their families are Christian.

and here in the good’ol US of A unarmed boys of color are being shot by cops.

My white sons will most likely

never be shot by cops.

armed or otherwise

because

WHITE PRIVILEGE.

Dr. Not Scary Dentist.


So, I went to the dentist and got a HUGE cavity filled.
I really do not like going, in fact, I loathe going.
I am scared of the dentist; it IS a real fear, wikki says so!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_fear
It is called dental phobia, dentophobia,
dentist phobia, or dental anxiety.

But Dr. Not Scary Dentist gives me VALIUM
so that I can, ya know, walk into the office, cuz otherwise I will not, could not, walk into the office, or even walk by the office.
Because everybody knows that Dentists are really really bad people who love to inflict pain and then charge you for it.
everybody. knows.
Like that Dentist in The Little Shop of Horrors.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHsDKqKE_kc&feature=kp

But Dr. Not Scary Dentist is not like that:
He is not mean to me. AND he knows about people being scared and all that. AND he loves Jesus, the REAL Jesus, not the Republican Jesus, and he tells me what he is going to do before he does it.
AND he always asks me “How ya doin’ lil’ Sis?”

AND I know I have more teeth to fill, so I said, “Let’s just do it.” Because I am too high to care or make any decisions other than whether
I am having rice pudding or
Campbell’s Bean and Bacon soup
for lunch.
But THEN while the
Novocaine was starting to work,
Dr. Not Scary Dentist walked out and
told The Head,
who had to drive me cuz DO NOT TAKE Diazepam AND DRIVE TO THE DENTIST, or anywhere else for that matter.
DOI!

Anyway, Dr. Not Scary Dentist said to the Head that, “It is more important that little Sis learns to trust me and the dental process than she needs to get her other tooth filled today.”

So he does not take advantage of a stoned person in the seat of doom.

When I got home I laid down in bed for a little bit. That was nice. But then, THEN, I got a migraine. I think the tooth triggered it.
I took my migraine meds, fell asleep
at 2 and woke up at 6:15.
So if you go to the dentist, even the really nice ones who give you Valium and do NOT sing scary songs and DO let you listen to old-time gospel and then sing out loud
with you humming the tunes when
Johnny Cash or Elvis comes on
(cuz who does not LOVE Johnny Cash and Elvis, who are the best Gospel singers, EVAH),
BECAUSE even when they give you a nice shiny pink tooth-brush cuz you were so good,

it will still fuck up your day.